I worry that I'm not feeding her enough; I worry about the collar hurting her neck; I worry about her not getting enough exercise; I worry about the lump on her neck.  I imagine this poor, sweet, good-natured little baby is just going through agony.  I can only imagine what it must be doing to her mentally.  Everyone says she will recover and forget ... but I won't ever forget what Abbey has had to endure.

It's noon, and Abbey is sleeping - hopefully right through to this evening, when I will get her out of her house for some cuddling and some exercise.  She really misses her wheel and her ball.

10:30 pm - Abbey has gone back to bed for the night.  We spent about 90 minutes playing in a 3 foot by 3 foot area I closed off in the hallway for her.  Covered the carpet with a clean sheet, put down a food block, and kept her water close at hand.  She's is doing much better physically, and on the sheet, she can scamper around without the collar impeding her progress as it slides easily over the smooth surface.  Now the problem is that the little animal has regained much of her strength and she wants to jump and climb.  I spent most of the time protecting her from injury as she was quite insistent she was going to scale the make-shift wall I had built out of books underneath one end of the sheet.

She got a good amount of exercise, although nothing compared to what she would normally get running in her ball for the evening.  But at least she got to stretch her muscles and breathe some fresh air.  When I placed her back into her home, she immediately set about standing on her hind legs and trying to climb the smooth plastic walls.  Abbey gave me a few nervous moments as she toppled backwards in her efforts, but she didn't seem to be bothered by her tumbles. She's eating extremely well off the spoon, taking seeds one at a time.  No vegetables today as I think I overdid the carrots and broccoli yesterday.  I am cautiously optimistic.

Abbey slept all day, waking up around 8:15 pm.  After stretching and having a few nibbles at one of her food blocks, she played in our "playpen" for over an hour this evening, showing off that she's getting stronger every day.  Really, really, really hates that collar now that she's more mobile.  She's working, quite earnestly, at trying to get a piece of the tape off of the device.  She's even figured out that the door to her house gives her leverage with the collar.  I think she has learned the rudiments of using an object to pry another object.  Pretty smart little animals.

There's a tiny pink bump just at the edge of the area  that was shaved for her surgery.  It was not there this morning, and it has me worried that it may be start of another tumour.  Will call her doctor first thing tomorrow morning.  He really needs to take a look at the collar anyhow to make sure it is still secure.  Other than that, Abbey is eating and drinking well, and if she can just not develop any more lumps and bumps, maybe she has a chance.  I'm not ready to think about biopsy results just yet.

2:30 pm - Abbey's appointment with Dr. Konarzewski.  He said the surgical site is doing extremely well - dry, no signs of infection.  However, he confirmed that what I thought was the beginning of another lump, is indeed a tumour.  And the one at her neck has grown since the surgery 4 days ago.  That explains why the collar is driving her to distraction as he feels it is definitely irritating her.  How much is hard to tell.  His main concern was had the disease spread to her lungs.

Such a good little girl on the x-ray machine.  She remained perfectly still as long as the technician placed a glove in front of her.  She had them all smiling with her "civilized" behaviour.  And finally, some good news ... no evidence of any tumours in her lungs.  Still, the growth of new ones throughout other parts of her body led Dr. Konarzewski to caution that whatever is going on is pretty aggressive.  The biopsy results are still not available, yet he advises against any more surgery to remove the one on her neck.

While I don't want to lose my little girl, I too, don't want to put her through any more trauma than is necessary.  If she can live a couple of more months in relative comfort, would that not be better than subjecting her to another operation of which the outcome is dubious?  I do not wish to cause her any more pain than she has already had to endure.  As she is recovering from the surgery so well, Dr. Konarzewski suggested we look towards palliative care from here on out.  It will be difficult for me, but in the best interests of Abbey.

"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!" ~ Theophile Gautier